By Sammy Bolck

EXHIBITION GYM, DHS—The boy’s basketball team scored a surprising victory yesterday and is catching fire after their intense 23-21 victory over themselves. In practice, the red penny team pulled off the unlikely victory over the gray team, leading to the first taste of victory for the varsity team.

“I really thought we were not going to win a game this season,” said one of the coaches. “I’m impressed that we came out of that scrimmage with a victory.”

The basketball team is 0-13 in non-practice game, but sports an impressive .500 record in inter squad scrimmages. According to 6’1 center Max Angle, “They say that the only way good teams lose is when they beat themselves. Well I think [after our inter squad game] we have proven that we are a good team since we were able to beat ourselves.”

“It was a tough victory,” said Hank Paldacci, one of the forwards. “I thought it was going to be a tie and nobody would win. But eventually the red team stuck it out and won.”

+ posts
You May Also Like

Seniors Skip Traditional Senior Prank–Blamed on “Senioritis”

“Senioritis,” reports Dr. Hugh Jabutt, local laziness expert, “is traditionally encountered by seniors during their second…

The Truth About Homecoming: You Can Say “No”

By Boris Belanov DEERFIELD, IL — The familiar festivities of Homecoming are…

The Return of “Ask Mr. Motzko”

Mr. Motzko,My little sister is an incoming freshman, and my mom wants…

Cubs Fill City With False Hope Yet Again

Carlos Zambrano approached the podium today, cool, calm, and collected. He told…