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Flipside Returns From Iraq War!

WHAT WE MISSED WHILE WE WERE GONE DEERFIELD, IL-To our dedicated readers, we are very apologetic about the long hiatus. Our main reporters got caught up in all of the…

New DARE Study: Drugs Are Very, VERY Bad

In a brand-new study conducted earlier this week by anti-drug program D.A.R.E., drugs and alcohol, which have been deemed as “bad” by the program since its inception, have been elevated…

This Literary Analysis Has Gone Too Far!

BY WILLIAM FESTERMANN, JUNIOR You have read my book. Its subject matter is blatantly evident. I assume with the great degree of knowledge that you possess that you at least…

Pessimist is Sure the Glass is Half Empty

BY FRANCO WENHART I hate it when you people tell me the glass is half full. As if you would know! You don’t even have the foggiest idea. Who do…

Realist Verifies Existence of Water in the Glass

BY JONATHON CORTAUX Just look at it. It seems rather evident to me. There is water in that glass. I’m going to tell it straight to you. I’m not going…