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Choraliers Wear Yarmulkes During Hanukkah Songs to Promote Religious Equality

By Flagstaff Roberts DEERFIELD, IL—After the Fall Fine Arts Assembly and the Benefit Concerts, there have been a surge of recent complaints about the unjust perpetuation of religions inequality within…

Deerfield Basketball Team Wins First Game in Inter-Squad Scrimmage

By Sammy Bolck EXHIBITION GYM, DHS—The boy’s basketball team scored a surprising victory yesterday and is catching fire after their intense 23-21 victory over themselves. In practice, the red penny…

Ask Mr. Motzko: Vacation

ASK MR. MOTZKO Dear Mr. Motzko- It is almost time for winter break, and I am getting very excited. My parents said that we are going to go out of…

Help! I’m Being Held Against My Will To Make Jokes!

By The Flipside Elf Help me! I am trapped here, inside this Flipside sweatshop, and they keep forcing me to come up with witty puns and pathetic jokes for hours…

School Chest Takes Your Money, Souls

Student Makes A Moat For His Can Castle

Car Destroyed in Crash, Fuzzy Dice Still OK