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Happy Non-Denominational Cataclysmic Togetherness Day!

BY R. CUVERNSTALE Happy Non-Denominational Cataclysmic Togetherness Day! Fruitcake, latkes, and Kwanza fruit are all abound. Today, December 17, is the day we celebrate nothing. It is truly the most…

The Life of a Triangle Player: The Story behind Igor Duvanovic

For someone under as much pressure to succeed as Igor Duvanovic is, he’s a very calm person. Living with his mom in Luxembourg, Duvanovic, 24, shows a laid-back personality that…

MENSA announces “MENSA Charity Drive: Raising Awareness for How Smart We Are” After Recent Decline in Membership

By Captain_Underscore MENSA, Tennessee-At a recent MENSA Board of Directors Meeting, spokesperson Norman Scharzkopf announced that MENSA would be holding a charity drive for itself, in order to increase revenue…

Bush Nominates Elephant to Supreme Court, Sparks Democratic Opposition

BY JEFF VOLGENSPIEL WASHINGTON, D.C. – Just yesterday, President George W. Bush nominated an elephant to fill the vacant spot in the Supreme Court left by Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.…

French Prime Minister Tells Rioters To “Please Stop”, Riots Cease Because Of Politeness

BY U. V. Ells Paris, France-After nearly two months of civil unrest and commotion in France, the riots that have plagued the country and its surrounding city-states have come to…

That Last Issue Was Just Horrid!

PROFESSOR JAHN What was that garbage? The entire last issue was pompous and rude. I expect a cleaner brand of comedy. Pst. When I picked up the first issue of…

Admit it, That Last Issue of The Flipside was Awesome!

After much deliberation, the members of the Flipside staff would like to congratulate themselves on a job well done on the last issue. And they deserve it. Who had the…

Prince Charming Found to Actually Be Rather Obnoxious

BY KLAUS VAN KLISCKO A conspiracy this majestic has not hit the American public since the breakup of Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. We’re very sorry, you’re both so pretty.…

Dr. Suess Proclaims Green Eggs and Ham Unhealthy

BY HUGH OPENGARDENER SANTA FE—In a recent press statement, Dr. Cornelius Suess, great nephew of the renowned author Dr. Suess, announced that consuming green eggs and ham together “is not…

You Can’t Censor Me, I’ll Censor Myself

BY W. PERRY CRENSHAW I’ve had enough, I’m getting fogging tired of the FCC or should I say “Freaking Coward Commission”. That’s right, I said it. Everyone farkin telling me…

Black Eyed Peas Want to Know What You’re Going to do With All that Junk

BY E. PETER WITZEN As part of a pop-culture jabberwocky, Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas posed a question that has beleaguered today’s young hip-hop fans. As part of their…

Hurry Potter: The New Ghetto Whiz

BY ISAAC HANIQUIN HOGWARTS-The well known wizard-in-training, Harry Potter, has decided to take a turn in his life after realizing that fighting Voldemort isn’t quite what it used to be…

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