BY RONALD MCCORMICK WASHINGTON—In the past couple of weeks the media has been flooded with Dick Cheney stories and Dick Cheney jokes and Dick Cheney cartoons, but they all have the story wrong. In an interview given yesterday, the Vice President finally let the nation in on what…
BY POLSTER HUE DEERFIELD—With the coming of the second semester, there have been an increased number of cases of Senioritis throughout Deerfield High School and other local communities. To help ease the problem before it becomes a pandemic, the FDA has announced that it will be releasing a…
BY RIOTO SUAVE DEERFIELD—Just last week, Deerfield High School experienced severe rioting when its satirical newspaper failed to come out last month. Estimates say that around 500 students were found protesting violently in the bus lobby with posters and chanting. Six students were injured in the protests and…
BY ANGEL GILMORE NORTHFIELD, IL—The North Shore Jewish community was stunned in a recent announcement that Andrea Zorenstein,…
Thank you, thank you Casimir. Your Polish heroics and dastardly deeds have granted us a holiday to celebrate…
BY RAZZLE D. FOLACKTIAN As the snow falls at the command of gravity, one group of young athletes…
By Bosco Cheyenne No wonder the holiday-season movies underperformed! I walked into the new Steven Spielberg film “Munich”…
BY TASH HIPPORHOP Cape Canaveral, Fla.—Last March, President Bush decided after viewing the film The High Cost of…
The Story of James McGrozer in his Plight to Pointless Commercial Fame Fletcher B. Sillet LITTLE ROCK, AK-What…
BY FERNANDO SMITH DEERFIELD—Just last week in a press statement, local teen Jeff Stafman announced that he wants…
BY ROBIN DORF In a town of visually lackluster teenage boys, Stan van Flan discovered an unusual talent…
Dr. Seuss has been acclaimed for many of his children’s works. The reason for his genius is his…