Cheney: “He Was Getting Annoying” : The Shooting Incident You Didn’t Hear About

BY RONALD MCCORMICK WASHINGTON—In the past couple of weeks the media has…

FDA Approves Drug to Cure Senioritis

BY POLSTER HUE DEERFIELD—With the coming of the second semester, there have…

Flipside Skips a Month, School in Chaos: Six Injured, One Arrested in Last Weeks Riots

BY RIOTO SUAVE DEERFIELD—Just last week, Deerfield High School experienced severe rioting…

Local Synagogue Cantor Signs $4 Million Recording Contract with Sony

BY ANGEL GILMORE NORTHFIELD, IL—The North Shore Jewish community was stunned in…

Casimir Pulaski: The Great American Hero

Thank you, thank you Casimir. Your Polish heroics and dastardly deeds have…

Footbagging Makes a Kickback: The Real Hacky Sacking Story

BY RAZZLE D. FOLACKTIAN As the snow falls at the command of…

MOVIES: Why couldn’t “Munich” be more about the Olympics?

By Bosco Cheyenne No wonder the holiday-season movies underperformed! I walked into…

NASA Sends a Man to Walmart

BY TASH HIPPORHOP Cape Canaveral, Fla.—Last March, President Bush decided after viewing…

Mazda’s Zoom Zoom Kid Gives Hope to the Little People:

The Story of James McGrozer in his Plight to Pointless Commercial Fame…

Local Kid Just Wants to Play in the NBA

BY FERNANDO SMITH DEERFIELD—Just last week in a press statement, local teen…

Double Jointed Teen Fails to Impress Girls with “Double-Jointedness”

BY ROBIN DORF In a town of visually lackluster teenage boys, Stan…

Dr. Seuss Tells it Like it Is

Dr. Seuss has been acclaimed for many of his children’s works. The…