Thank you, thank you Casimir. Your Polish heroics and dastardly deeds have granted us a holiday to celebrate your undeniable greatness. Only you can do close to absolutely nothing and get us a day off of school. Wow!

What better way to celebrate in your honor than to take an entire school day to celebrate your war valiance? We’ll parade through the streets feasting on foreign food by the truckloads. Mostly polish sausages.

We’ll walk across the nation for you, Casimir. We feel it’s only fair after all the favors you did for us in the Revolutionary War.

You fought in the South and got us a day off in Illinois. Way to go!

If you wanted to know, you didn’t even make it into the United States History book (America Past and Present A.P. Edition). But we don’t care.

Our hearts will never falter, our loyalty will never cease. As I write for you, and only you, Mr. Pulaski, I can only think of the great Polish country that is Poland as I hum the Polish National Anthem sweetly from my soul.

I know how I will prepare for this spectacular day for mankind. I will bake a feast. I will make cookies in Pulaski shapes and I will make a salad that tastes like a salad would taste back then. It will be doused in French dressing representing the blood shed in the battles you fought.

When I wake up that fateful first Monday of March, I will swell up inside with both American and Polish pride.

I will cook a breakfast fit for a king and fit for the great Casimir Pulaski day.

I love you, dearest Casimir. I’m sure as you

fought for America’s freedom,

you were thinking of us students in the back of your mind getting a day off of school.

You fought for us.

Now we’ll sleep for you. God bless America.

+ posts
You May Also Like

In Defense of WDT

WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of…

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…