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That Last Issue Was Just Horrid!

PROFESSOR JAHN

What was that garbage? The entire last issue was pompous and rude. I expect a cleaner brand of comedy. Pst.

When I picked up the first issue of the Flipside, I expected to be dumbfounded by whimsical articles. I was hoping to laugh so hard that I would start crying. However, such thrills of delight ceased to never happen. I was disappointed, wait no, I was frustrated, saddened by a newspaper that thought it was funny but actually wasn’t.

If I were to write my own version of the Flipside, it would be so much funnier. It would have had a big picture of a golden spatula on the front page with a single quote proclaiming, “For a grand ol’ time, check out the county fair.” That would have been really funny, because spatulas and county fairs have nothing to do with each other, and that sparks irony, among other things. I would have followed that up by leaving the inside pages of the newspaper blank because, “less is more,” and then would have ended with a last page of me in my red velvet robe and pipe with yet another solitary quote saying, “Cheeri-o”.

I write to you, members of the Flipside staff, demanding my money back.

December 1, 2008

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