New FOX Show “American Immigrant” to Cross Boundaries By Curry Gagarin LOS ANGELES—With the success that American Idol has brought… Matt KaufmanDecember 14, 20081.6K views2 minute read
Man Who Also Has Name Chuck Norris Getting Inflated Ego By Timpani Timmy AKRON, OH—A local plumber’s assistant and devout “lifter” who… Matt KaufmanDecember 14, 2008624 views1 minute read
Citing Lack of Presidential Achievement, Bush Unifies the Dakotas By Winston Llental Recently, immediately after realizing that he was indeed President,… David ZwickDecember 14, 2008552 views2 minute read
SmartFilter on Rampage! : Deerfield High School Web Filter Blocks Allen Iverson; Internet BY BERNARD TIBBERTS DEERFIELD, IL—The new SmartFilter that Deerfield High School has… Jeremy KeeshinDecember 14, 2008542 views2 minute read
Tennis Superstar Parents Unimpressed by Son’s Artistic Talent By Huey Caquest Husband and wife Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf are… David ZwickDecember 14, 2008494 views2 minute read
“Small” Addition to DHS Security In a press release, the DHS head of internal security said that… Ben ElkindDecember 14, 20081.6K views2 minute read
Well Meaning Substitute Gym Teacher Fails to Impress By Ren Ixley Substitue Teacher Chuck JonesWith whistle and clipboard in hand,… Matt KaufmanDecember 14, 2008642 views3 minute read
You Really Must Wish You Were My Dog BY VLAD VILSENT If there is one person whom I envy, any… Ari SalingerDecember 14, 2008609 views3 minute read
Barry Bonds Tests Positive for Spinach By Vernon Zexis SAN FRANCISCO—After numerous steroid allegations that have been placed… David ZwickDecember 14, 2008553 views2 minute read
Fan Hurts Kellen Winslow’s Feelings; Winslow Out For Season By Dudley Tenfold Former University of Miami Hurricane star tight end Kellen… Jeremy KoganDecember 14, 20081.6K views2 minute read
DHS Spanish Teacher to Co-Star in Upcoming Antonio Banderas Movie By Angel Gilmore It was announced earlier this week that Profesora Lupe… Allie BernsteinDecember 14, 2008549 views2 minute read
Local Phobiaphobic in Constant State of Fear By Camper Tiffley DEERFIELD, IL-Just last Tuesday, a local Deerfield man was… Jeremy KeeshinDecember 14, 2008553 views1 minute read
