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Kick-Off Pre-Gaming Accidentally Scheduled After Kick-Off Dance

Traditionally, Jackson High School hosts an informal school dance home to dougie-ing, crump-ing, and stanky leg-ing. However, last week’s kick-off dance had an abysmally low attendance because of a snafu in the social networking world.

The pre-game break dancing practice was unintentionally scheduled at 70:0 on Facebook instead of 7:00. This typo confused a great many freshmen that had just recently learned to read analog clocks. Lory Jennings, a fresh- man, was reported saying, “After they moved the pre-game to 70:0, I couldn’t go to the dance. It was after my bedtime as a freshman.” With all freshmen asleep, it was up to the JHS seniors to tweet about the typo.

Senior Abby Harding tweeted “I’m so sorry about the mix-up on Facebook. We are sincerely apologetic for our snafu. The pre-game is actually happening at—” Harding’s tweet exceeded the maximum character limit that Twitter creators arbitrarily picked. One misguided junior tried to get the message out through 4chan and Google+, but an embarrassingly small number of high school students have ever even heard of those sites, so it was about as effective as last year’s senior prank.

As a result of the technological hiccup, the chaperones of the dance were left alone dancing to 80s Go-Go Girl’s on repeat. There were also two sophomores that showed up to the dance because they didn’t have access to Internet that day and their iPhone4G LTE died. The moral of the story, as said by Lory Jennings, was simple: “If we spent less time outside and more time on our computers, then we could have definitely figured out the problem.”

July 28, 2013

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