WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of the class of ‘21 for just trying to have fun! Listen, I was at the party and we were more than 100% COVID safe, ask anyone (that was there). We only took our masks off for our Instagram pictures where we stacked up against each other like entitled sardines and those two times when we went for a swim in the heated outdoor pool. Well, and then there was the time we took them off to eat pizza… but I digress. COMPLETELY SAFE. Sure, I’m a WDT simp, but I’m a proud simp. They have done absolutely nothing wrong and are receiving hate for no reason at all! You know, we’re the real victims here. And I’ll have you know, my dad’s a lawyer and he’s going to SUE ALL OF YOU!!!

You know it’s funny that somehow all the blame got placed on WDT even though the hockey team is equally responsible (and by responsible I mean responsible for doing nothing wrong and having a good time).

To the people slandering WDT and the Hockey Team’s good name, I have prepared a list of arguments that will undoubtedly convince you that I am right and you are wrong. 

  1. Have you considered getting a life? Maybe you all are just salty that you don’t have friends and don’t get invited to super-spreader parties. Testing negative for corona sounds like loser talk to me.
  2. We won state. You didn’t. All of our actions are justified because we’re good at dancing. Do you even play a sport?
  3. We’re actually the ones who are helping fight ‘rona. The hockey boys are gonna get it and get over it and then we’ll have herd immunity. It’s not like we’re spreading it to anyone anyways.
  4. If we take all the COVID for ourselves no one else will get it. It’s like printing money to get rid of your debt!
  5. We have a first amendment right to party whenever we want. Trust me, I literally just took my AP Gov test online.

Talk to me when you get a life, losers. Anyways, I’ll be going to virtual practice now. See you after Spring Break. I’ll be in Miami while you’re crying at home. Later nerds, catch you on the flipside!😎

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