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Pancake Cardigans to Overtake Waffle Shirts

As summer comes to a close, new styles come into effect to deal with the cold weather—or maybe it just has something to do with Labor Day. Either way, the critically acclaimed waffle shirts are now considered out of style. One sophomore, Jenny Reid, believes that “The waffle shirt is just kinda lame. It reminds me of going to the pep rally as a freshman.” The pessimism about waffle shirts spread throughout the area high school and soon boys were looking for a totally new outfit to help turn their swag on.

The breakthrough came from senior Jared Stillings after he accidentally spilled his maple syrup-covered pancakes onto his 50% off Target waffle shirt. Stillings knew exactly what the cardigan would look like after he applied Chocolate, his favorite kind of Axe Body Spray.

The response was immediate and underwhelmingly positive. Girls of all ages thought it was a nice change and Reid thinks, “Pancake cardigans could work, I guess.” Bolstered by a meager approval from the field hockey squad, Stillings began to sell pancake cardigans for free because people had already bought waffle shirts that they now couldn’t wear. The area high school expects all the senior boys to be wearing their cardigans during the pep rally as an emblem of school spirit.

July 28, 2013

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