Marijuana Illegalized in Zimbabwe, Hunger Issue Resolved

By Burford Stetson IDIJAMAMA, ZIMBABWE – Just last week, Zimbabwean government passed…

Osama Bin Laden Found At Deerfield High School Turnabout

By Buford Stetson DEERFIELD, IL – Osama Bin Laden was found hiding…

Cost Effective Auto-Pilot Announced As Next World Languages Department Chair

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD, IL – The 2009-2010 school year will be…

Rap Group “Borrows” DHS for the Day

By Gunther Hausman This past Friday, the rap group Endiskize came to…

Deerfield Authorities Cracking Down on Fun

By Jeremy Hoodaman Authorities in Deerfield are fed up with the smiles…

Michael Moore Will Not Rest Until Every American Has Access to Health Care, All-You-Can-Eat Crab Legs