I Need a Nap

By: John McCain This election took forever. I am really tired. It…

What Now?

By: Barack Obama Umm, this is awkward. I don’t really know what…

Why So Serious: My Guidelines to School Success

By: The Joker Everybody needs to lighten up. Want to know how…

Top 10 Reasons You’re Attending the Wrong College

By Picov Andropov A Farewell Piece AP exams have finally come to…

Opinion: “Like Honestly, I’m Probably Going to Fall Asleep During Post-Prom”

By Jordan Stein All right guys, let’s be honest right now. This…

I Can’t Believe I Have to Poop in School

There are just so many crappy options. All the bathrooms both literally…

Opinion: This Whole Deal With Angels in America is Just So Gay

By Freddy Teenager NORTHBROOK, IL—I’ve only been following this media frenzy from…

Opinion: Fire Alarm So Tempting Yet So Far Away

By Picov Andropov DEERFIELD, IL – What man can say that he…

Forget a Moment of Silence, I Want a Moment of Truth!

BY GREGOR FLETCHKING What is all this silent bickering I hear? Enough…

Dude, What Did You Get On Your ACT?

By Tony “The Trashtalker” Ta’alio Hey you. Yea you, in the gray…

Opinion: I’ll Take A Buffalo Chicken Sandwich With a Side of You

Bart “Little Man” Olykowski I’ll tell you what boys of Deerfield, if…

This Literary Analysis Has Gone Too Far!

BY WILLIAM FESTERMANN, JUNIOR You have read my book. Its subject matter…