By Picov Andropov

DEERFIELD, IL – What man can say that he has never thought of pulling the fire alarm? Well, a blind one I guess; but then again, perhaps he, too. Its greatness is measured not only by its sleek red and white design, shiny plastic cover, and simple directions, but by its power. That is why it has tempted me so.

I choose not to unleash its destruction because it lies all the way over there. The consequences don’t bother me. Is it too much to ask for a conveniently placed fire alarm? I don’t want to have to walk to P hall to find one. I don’t have time for that. I say we should live in a world where there is a fire alarm next to every light switch. Why do light switches have more rights than fire alarms? We need to think safety here.

I for one believe that a world with more fire alarms ensures us all a safer and much more intriguing future. The phrase “fire drill” will take on completely new meaning. What is that ringing? It is the sound of love.

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