By George Minkowski
If you haven’ t gotten a Halloween costume yet, now is about the time to start panicking. But before you run off to Party City and buy the last “Sexy Nurse” costume, the school wants you to consider if your costume could be offensive.
In an announcement to the entire student body, the Deans’ Office communicated that no student shall wear costumes that “could be offensive or perpetuate a stereotype of someone’s culture, heritage, or religion.” They then cited several examples of some unacceptable costumes including dressing up as a geisha, Jesus, or a guy in a mini-shirt.
Although some individuals were confused on how a guy in a mini-shirt is a culture, heritage, or religion, most people understood the intent of the message. However, even though they got the intent, the Deans’ Office failed to foresee the impact of their message, offending several students and teachers.
“My girlfriend suggested that we dress up like Aladdin & Jasmine. I thought that it was such a cute idea until I reread the announcement and talked to an administrator,” Senior Leo Hayes tells Flipside reporters. “I told them what I was planning on wearing and they said wearing a turban and robe would be offensive, like I was dressing up as Osama bin Laden.”
“I found that offensive,” says Leo’s girlfriend, Freshman Amy Cozart. “A turban and a robe do not make you a member of al-Qaeda, especially if you carry around a magic lamp all day. Does the school even know that the movie Aladdin was set in Persia during the middle ages and not in present day Pakistan or Afghanistan?”
“Rude…” adds Cozart.
Cozart and her boyfriend then decided they were going to dress up as spaghetti & meatballs, but they were told that their costumes could be offensive to the members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which really exists.
“We totally stand behind that decision. Spaghetti straps are prohibited in the student handbook and could be seen as offensive by Pastafarians,” says the Deans’ Office.

+ posts
You May Also Like

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (As told by mall security)

By Saul Brown, Mall Cop I’ve known Alexander Grinch for about 8…

My Bad, Dude

I’m really sorry dude. I really am. I thought for sure you…

Super-Villain Talks Too Much, Hero Escapes Again

By Antone Walters Dr. Third Eye, the notorious super-villain bent on world…

The Triumphs and Tragedies of a PE Substitute

I hate this job. I sit down and take attendance of all…