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ABC’s Lost Fan’s Head Explodes

head-explodingCHICAGO, IL— Steven Rosenthal, 41, was found dead in his apartment last week. Next to him, season 3 and 4 of Lost on DVD and notebooks filled with Lost theories.
Detective John McDougal is the lead detective on the case. “The scene was dark,” McDougal tells Flipside reporters. “The only light in the room was from his TV and his glowing computer screen on Lostepedia.com. I suspect his confused brain couldn’t take the stresses of Lost anymore, so he just, I don’t know, exploded.”
The county coroner refused to perform the autopsy saying, “The Island has spoken.” Steven’s family understands and they have only one wish, to have Steven buried on the Island. This request, however, is impossible as of right now because the Island disappeared at the end of season 4.
Steven is the 23rd Lost related death this year but the first case of ‘spontaneously exploding head.’ Deranged fans have died by many other far fetched ways in the past. Last month, two fans fell to their deaths during an attempt to break into ABC headquarters. The week before that a man put himself into a chemically induced coma because he couldn’t bare the wait to next season, needless to say, he will not be waking up any time soon. And perhaps the most notable Lost related death happened almost a year ago today when Robert Samuelson purposely crashed his private jet in the Bermuda Triangle with hopes of making it to the island.
So as Steven’s family mourns and waits for season 5, the Lost related death toll rises everyday while Lost fans die in their quest for answers.

December 30, 2008

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