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Pessimist is Sure the Glass is Half Empty

BY FRANCO WENHART

I hate it when you people tell me the glass is half full. As if you would know! You don’t even have the foggiest idea. Who do you think has been staring at the glass longer? (This question is rhetorical.)

The answer is that I have, and I know whether or not it is half full or half empty, and I tell you it is half empty. Pretty soon you are going to start telling me how things are ‘looking good’ and how my business is ‘on the up-and-up.’

But those are lies. These are all lies. Things are looking terrible and right now I’m unemployed. Don’t go now and tell me I have a ‘good attitude’ either. The glass if half empty and it always will be.

Not only is the glass of water half empty, it is probably contaminated as well. With sanitary conditions as they are today, you wouldn’t find me within a mile of that cup. It probably has fourteen types of E. coli and fifteen types of Ebola in there. This is not even a question! It is half empty and anyone that tells you otherwise is a liar and a cheat.

December 15, 2008

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