obamaBy: Barack Obama

Umm, this is awkward. I don’t really know what to do. Should I keep speaking? I’ve only been in politics for four years, for Pete’s sake. I have no idea what to do for these next four years. Let me take a dramatic pause like I do when I make speeches. O.K. Now what? Maybe Joe will know. I think I’ll make a B, A, M, and A office to go with the oval one. Then people can see me from the sky. I love attention almost as much as I love arugula.

+ posts
You May Also Like

Valet Company: “We Are Not Responsible for Lost, Stolen, or Damaged Cars”

GARNER, NORTH CAROLINA—In a recently updated version of their waiver contract, the…

Tennis Superstar Parents Unimpressed by Son’s Artistic Talent

By Huey Caquest Husband and wife Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf are…

NASA Sends a Man to Walmart

BY TASH HIPPORHOP Cape Canaveral, Fla.—Last March, President Bush decided after viewing…

Deerfield Disses Created to Neutralize Newfound Positivity at DHS

Last Monday afternoon, it was discovered that the feelings of DHS students…