obamaBy: Barack Obama

Umm, this is awkward. I don’t really know what to do. Should I keep speaking? I’ve only been in politics for four years, for Pete’s sake. I have no idea what to do for these next four years. Let me take a dramatic pause like I do when I make speeches. O.K. Now what? Maybe Joe will know. I think I’ll make a B, A, M, and A office to go with the oval one. Then people can see me from the sky. I love attention almost as much as I love arugula.

+ posts
You May Also Like

RED SCARE!
Deans’ Relentless Browsing of Facebook Uncovers Murder, Affair, and Student’s Terrible Taste In Music

By Flagstaff Roberts DEERFIELD, IL–In what has been a real tizzy for…

ABC’s Lost Fan’s Head Explodes

CHICAGO, IL— Steven Rosenthal, 41, was found dead in his apartment last…

Flipside Writer Forgets to Write Article

INSERT LOCATION HERE – In breaking news, we are receiving early reports…

Readers Strike Puts Publishers, Newspapers Out of Business

By Joe Polorio NEW YORK—After several weeks of picketing, the readers strike…