Toll Booths Installed in Halls to Increase Funding

Bo Obama Eats Own Vomit, Is Adorable

Junior Makes Bad Choices Over Weekend

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD— Upon leaving classes before the weekend, three words…

Biology Fetal Pig Dissection Exposes Sadist

By Gunther Hausman DEERFIELD—For the past week, Joe Wagner’s third period Honors…

Where’s Waldo? Longest “Hide-And-Go-Seek” Game In History Ends

A new world record was set last week, here in the quaint…

College Rejection Letter

Although we had a historically low amount of applicants, we cannot offer…

Math Teacher Assigns All Even Problems: What the Hell is His Problem?!

2-24, all even. I thought slave labor ended years ago. This is…

Flipside, Administration So Close to Destroying Deerprints

After working hand in hand with the school board, we almost destroyed…

To Homework or Not To Homework

Umm, what do I do now? After working my tucas off for…

High School Teachers Across the Nation Haze Students

Hazing: an older person subjecting a younger person to a right of…

Thousands Miss Outdoor Show; Assumed it was Actually Outdoors

Good ideas do not come around very often. So brace yourself for…

Seniors Try to Downplay Admission Excitement—Aren’t Fooling Anybody

Modesty is important. But so is letting people know you got into…