By Jefferey Hoodaman
CHICAGO, IL — Track star Cuppy Coffee has acknowledged using steroids to prepare for numerous Dunkin Donuts® Races. He is scheduled to plead guilty today in New York to two counts of lying to federal agents about his drug use and for spilling all over a Chicago businessman’s lap, permanently staining his fresh pair of slacks.
Jones, who won hundreds races held in the United Center, said he took a steroid, known on the black market as “Java Chip,” for two years beginning in 2002, according to a letter released to the public.
“I want to apologize to you all for all of this,” Coffee said. “Though I am proud of my fans for redeeming the free cappucinos that my victories guaranteed, I am sorry for disappointing you all in so many ways.”
Coffee’s admissions could cost him several hundred gold medals he won during timeouts during the late third quarter of Chicago Bulls’ home games. Coffee’s admission enlarges the cloud of doubt hovering over Dunkin Donuts races, which have been tarred in recent years with accusations of performance-enhancement. “Frankly, I’m not surprised,” World Anti-Doping Chairman DickPound said in a telephone interview. “I’ve always been suspicious…I guess Coffee’s just never been my cup of tea.”