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Thousands Miss Outdoor Show; Assumed it was Actually Outdoors

outdoor-show Good ideas do not come around very often. So brace yourself for a brilliant idea: the DHS Outdoor Show. Considering the recent success of outdoor related retail stores in Deerfield, such as Moosejaw and Orville, having an entire show dedicated solely to outdoor products seems like a no-brainer. Oh yeah, and the outdoor show is all indoors.

The economic savvy gym department organized this Warren Buffet quality business venture. Their logic was as clear as the sky that could not be seen because everything was indoors. Spokesman Art “Rate” Monitor issued the following press release.

“Deerfield town folk just love spending time outdoors. We are a town of hikers, not video game players. We are a town that goes to the beach, not to tanning salons. We love the outdoors, especially when it is so unbelievably cold, windy, and icy that we must go indoors.”

The price of admission was, in my humble opinion, a stroke of genius. Only five dollars to possibly win a raffle to get half off kayak lessons! That’s what I call a bargain. This economy is in desperate need of such profitable ventures and great options to spend a hard earned five dollars. Even better, kids under six come in for free. And who, if not six year olds, appreciate the patience required for bass fishing?

Moreover, who, if not six year olds, can sit through ADD- creating fishing demos and stare at fishing poles while never actually being able to fish? Of course, you actually have to go outside to fish.

Speaking of fish, I am glad we ordered enough. Although the young Einstein’s who ran what turned out to be the equivalent of the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893 were expecting anywhere from 5,000 to 500,000 attendants, they ordered enough fish for all of Iceland just to be safe. With a small army of student athletes who wanted to be pretty much anywhere else in the entire world making up the staff, the Outdoor Show lived up to all the Lebron Jame’s level hype.

I am surely not alone in stating I cannot wait for next year’s show. May I suggest possibly having the Outdoor show in May? Or never.

May 25, 2009

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