Melvin Schwarzengoggle

All of X-Hall was captivated yesterday on Halloween as DHS Sophomore Ziggy Jenkins was confronted by deans and security guards after 2nd period due to his inappropriate costume.

Ziggy had dressed as himself for Halloween, wearing a boring grey shirt with a white undershirt and a pair of baggy jeans. DHS staff promptly informed Ziggy that his costume choice was irresponsible and inappropriate because of how it depicted and offended an individual.

“Mr. Jenkins clearly made a bad choice in terms of his dress for Halloween,” a dean told The Flipside after the altercation. “Deerfield High School cannot foster an offensive environment that distracts from learning. It is quite possible that Mr. Jenkins was offending himself today, and I find that simply unacceptable.”

“It was so stupid,” said a very unhappy Ziggy. “They had me in the dean’s office for an hour. They lectured me on tolerance while we waited for my mom to bring me a grey shirt, white undershirt, and pair of jeans from home so I could change. I thought I had a real cool idea, dressing as myself and stuff, but next year I probably won’t wear a costume at all. The school sucked all the fun out of Halloween.”

Indeed Ziggy, indeed.

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