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Food Pyramid Now Food Rhombus

By Picov Andropov

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After Al Gore’s comments regarding obesity in children, the USDA has decided to reformat its approach to a healthy diet. Effective immediately, a Food Rhombus will take the place of the outdated Food Pyramid.

“The pyramid is out of style with today’s youth,” says one USDA spokesperson. “Studies show that the triangular shape is yesterday’s square. No one cares for that equilateral t-r-i-angle. Everyone loves a good equilateral q-u-a-d-rilateral.”

It’s obvious why kids would pay more attention to a rhombus. The kite like figure provides an image of joy, whereas a triangle only brings…well…triangular things to mind. Hopefully, kids will start paying attention to the food servings necessary in a healthy diet. All five of them should be consumed…or is it six…this darn triangle is just too confusing…

December 15, 2008

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