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Success of New Hampshire Primary Leads to Scheduling of Secondary and Tertiary

Melvin Schwarzengoggle After the media coverage of New Hampshire’s primary, state officials began pondering an interesting question: Why stop at just one? “New Hampshire’s pretty boring,” said Irene Jarvis, a…

Opinion: Fire Alarm So Tempting Yet So Far Away

By Picov Andropov DEERFIELD, IL – What man can say that he has never thought of pulling the fire alarm? Well, a blind one I guess; but then again, perhaps…

Southpaw Sues School Over Right-Handed Desks

By: Harvey Boone It was inevitable; at 5:13 pm on Tuesday, December 18th, 2007, Lawrence J. Haywater, a fifth-year senior, officially filed a class action lawsuit against Deerfield High School.…

Searching For Bobby Fischer Not That Hard Any More

Morphthing Unsuccessfully Combines Simpsons