BY JEFF VOLGENSPIEL


WASHINGTON, D.C. – Just yesterday, President George W. Bush nominated an elephant to fill the vacant spot in the Supreme Court left by Justice Sandra Day O’Connor.

When asked about how he chose this elephant over the many other qualified nominees he replied, “Well, this elephant might not have gone to Harvard, or let alone speak English, but he really knows what’s up.”

“This elephant lived in a zoo. He knows captivity first hand and will make sure that we secure the freedoms of our American people,” Bush continued.

Also regarding the position of the elephant, Bush revealed he is a big supporter of animal rights.

The democrats were very annoyed with Bush after this nomination.

“Can he be any more blatant? Out of all the animals, he picks an elephant! And they don’t even speak English!” was the cry of one democrat.

There was much criticism against this nomination, such as that it wasn’t a girl elephant, that it didn’t meet the requirements for a Supreme Court Justice, and that he would smell really bad, among other things.

Bush, as well as the rest of the Republican Party shrugged it off.

All Bush would say was, “I am confident that the Senate will approve this nomination.”

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