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Congress Passes Landmark Anti-Obama Legislation

By George Minkowski
WASHINGTON, DC— An applause erupted on Capitol Hill this Monday when Congress approved landmark legislation that guarantees nothing on President Barack Obama’s agenda will get done. H.R. 1478, or “The Yes We Can’t Act,” passed 339-82 in the House and 77-19 in the Senate, drawing support from across party lines.
Congress was eager to pass this bill as it stands for something that is becoming more and more popular: abandoning faith in our president.
“If Obama likes it, I don’t,” reports Rep. Gil Gutknecht (R-MN). “I believe that Barack Hussein Obama wants nothing more than to turn the US into a socialist society.” We asked Rep. Gutnecht what his proof was and he responded by telling us, “I’ll show you my proof when Obama shows the country his birth-certificate.”
Despite how it may seem, H.R. 1478 wasn’t met with complete support. In fact, Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI) attempted to filibuster the bill but ran out of hot air, a rare occurrence for Senator Feingold. Additionally, Speaker Pelosi tried to voice her dissent but was thwarted by a pair of 6-inch stilettos thrown by Rep. John Boehner (R-OH). Those opposed to the bill believe that Obama obviously cannot handle the role of president, but should at least be allowed to pardon turkeys on Thanksgiving or choose the theme of State Dinners.
These, among other powers granted to the president by The Constitution, will be taken away from Obama if he signs the piece of legislation.
At present, it is still unknown whether or not Obama is planning to sign H.R. 1478, but many pundits believe that the president will sign the bill as his last official act of power. They speculate that Obama’s plummeting approval ratings must be taking a toll on his self-esteem and thus making him more likely to just “give up” on the whole change thing.

February 7, 2010

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