By George Minkowski

This past election, Deerfield residents were given the option to vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on a $14 million plan to expand, remodel, and reorganize the public library. The funds for this expansion would obviously come from taxes, costing the average Deerfield homeowner about $89 per year. Hearing that, almost everyone decided they didn’t want the referendum to pass.

However, according to unofficial numbers from the Lake and Cook County Clerk’s office, 58.61% of Deerfield residents voted ‘yes.’ When the news was released, the town let out an insincere “hooray,” few people being genuinely happy it passed and the rest not wanting others to know they voted against it.

Deerfield resident Steven Wade was one of the many who didn’t have the cajones to vote against something he didn’t actually want. “I have two kids in high school and a house I will want to eventually sell,” said Wade. “But my kids won’t be here to enjoy the library, I am indifferent to it, and I doubt a ‘redesigned youth program room’ will really make my house more valuable.”

We then asked Wade why he voted for it and he told us a representative from the library was standing outside of his voting booth whining, “Pretty please… We really need this. We want is so bad.”

These tactics were used not only on election day, but throughout the library’s campaign. They set up adorable little booths at public functions and apologized to passersby when they didn’t take their brochures. They made logical arguments in an articulate and effective way. Then they cried to cement their points.

Another Deerfield resident who wishes to be kept anonymous told Flipside reporters she voted against the referendum. She said it was almost impossible to go into the voting booth and vote ‘no,’ considering if the referendum didn’t pass, the library would have to give up this puppy.

Baxter

Luckily for Baxter, the Library Lovin’ Labrador Retriever, the majority of Deerfield residents didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the few committed individuals who “wouldn’t know what to do” if the referendum didn’t pass.

+ posts
You May Also Like

In Defense of WDT

WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of…

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…