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Apple to Come out With New High Powered Vacuum Called the iSuck

And the Other Newest Gifts for This Holiday Season New Apple Product Really Sucks This year’s Holiday Season is incomplete without the newest Apple product, The iSuck. How often has…

Ask Mr. Motzko: Time

ASK MR MOTZKO #16 Dear Mr. Motzko, I have been doing so many different things lately that I just keep running out of time. I need to clean my room…

Five Arrested for Curfew Between the Hours of 1:45 and 1:04 AM

By Jordy Gullepto LINCOLNSHIRE, IL—Last Sunday morning, between the hours of 1:45 and 1:04 AM, five teenagers from the nearby high school Stevenson were arrested for violation of curfew. This…

Food Pyramid Now Food Rhombus

By Picov Andropov WASHINGTON, D.C. – After Al Gore’s comments regarding obesity in children, the USDA has decided to reformat its approach to a healthy diet. Effective immediately, a Food…

Girl Cheats on Test, Boyfriend