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School Moving Closer To Getting Rid of Kids With Construction of New Fence

First Class Is More Than a Way of Life, It’s a Free T-shirt

Bears Try New Strategy: Offense

The 2009 Bears are trying something they haven’t even attempted in over two decades: playing offense. Lovie Smith discovered this groundbreaking new idea when watching film of opposing teams. Smith…

New Hand Dryer Causes Four Students to Go Deaf, One Hand Also Lost

DHS has made many cosmetic upgrades to the school this year, but one is causing a lot of noise. Literally. The new hand dryers in the bathrooms officially blow louder…

ABC’s Lost Fan’s Head Explodes

CHICAGO, IL— Steven Rosenthal, 41, was found dead in his apartment last week. Next to him, season 3 and 4 of Lost on DVD and notebooks filled with Lost theories.…