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Bears Try New Strategy: Offense
The 2009 Bears are trying something they haven’t even attempted in over two decades: playing offense. Lovie Smith discovered this groundbreaking new idea when watching film of opposing teams. Smith…
New Hand Dryer Causes Four Students to Go Deaf, One Hand Also Lost
DHS has made many cosmetic upgrades to the school this year, but one is causing a lot of noise. Literally. The new hand dryers in the bathrooms officially blow louder…
ABC’s Lost Fan’s Head Explodes
CHICAGO, IL— Steven Rosenthal, 41, was found dead in his apartment last week. Next to him, season 3 and 4 of Lost on DVD and notebooks filled with Lost theories.…