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Ricky Martin Found Living in Wyoming Cave

by Romulus Glenn

CHEYENNE, WY—After what seemed to be a larger than life, but still expected, 15 minutes of fame, Latin music mogul Ricky Martin found himself atop the world.

“You cannot believe how good it feels to be here right now. I mean, to think that a couple months ago I was just some very good-looking soap opera star and now I’ve come to this…doing virtually the same thing” Martin allegedly said in a 1999 press conference.

But Martin’s good looks, and gung-ho personality have not taken him to the promised land of perpetual riches, friends and even baked goods.

The 26-year old Martin decided to take what he called “a little catnap”. But what appeared to be a minor disappearance from the limelight such as those of the Baha Men, those who wrote the Macarena, and Molly Ringwald, eventually turned into a catastrophic vanishing of the Latin Lover.

After fading away from Hollywood in late 1999, it came into hindsight that Ricky Martin had sank to the bottom of Davey John’s Lock.

Until just recently, almost everyone had believed that Ricky Martin had completely fallen off the face of the planet, or perhaps even perished. On 7/19/05, archeologist JoJo McHenry, a fiery young bloke from Murray State University was exploring a Wyoming cave, just miles north of Yellowstone national park.

What he found was unfathomable.

He found the Hispanic hip-hopper lying curled up in a ball in the corner of a cave now called Barakamatu Mountain. He was listening to the Macarena by Los Del Rio on repeat and it appears as if he has been doing so for the last five years.

Others who have listened to the Macarena for years straight include anybody who ever listened to music in the mid-late 90’s. It appears as if Ricky Martin is just one of us again. Just living in a cave.

November 28, 2008

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