Students of Deerfield High recently received a shocking message from Mr. Moran, sponsor of OYAD, the club which creates the school yearbook. The email, sent with the subject line, “Last Call for Feet Pics,” read:
OYAD needs your silly little toes! They can be candid shots of your little piggies going to the store, elegant portraits of your barking dogs after a long day in the mud, or (and this one is most important) selfies! We’re looking to create a diverse gallery of feet—all shapes, sizes, discoloration, and levels of hair. Deadline to submit your adorable toesie wosies is next Monday at 4:02 AM
We have enough legs. Please stop sending us your leg pics.
Thanks, OYAD Staff
This disturbing message merely rides on the coattails of past offenses by OYAD (See: Year 16, Issue 14 “OYAD Wants Your Credit Card Information”). The student body is divided on the issue. Some are excited to finally express a hidden part of themselves. One sophomore told the Flipside, “No one has ever asked me for my feet pics before. It’s been really great for my self-esteem. Thanks, OYAD.” Other students are appalled, forming protest groups that chant “Cover up!” at their barefoot peers. Only one thing is for certain. You WILL be able to smell this reporter’s feet in the 2021-2022 yearbook.