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Freshman Having Second Thoughts About Latest Unit in Gym Class

By Elijah Brisk
It’s that time of year again. The time of year when the school’s runny nostrils are graced daily with the sweet scent of chlorine, algaecides, and a plethora of other chemicals that has kids wondering, “What is that layer of grease in the pool I’m about to jump into?” Most of us here at DHS have already experienced the red, itchy dryness that hits you around 3 periods after you have gym. However, there is one group of students that has yet to blush in the locker room: the freshmen. And they are freaked out.
Now, after three years of this swimming unit, I have witnessed these students attempting every possible way out of the dreaded unit. From doctor’s notes to ear infections, the freshmen are running out of ideas. One genius even tried to convince the teacher he was allergic to chlorine. HA! If the rookie had done some research, he may have realized that chlorine is in your toothpaste. Are you telling me you’ve never brushed your teeth? Good try, pal. You know as well as I do that suburban mothers would not dare let their children go one day without brushing their teeth to a shiny white glimmer.
Little Louie Levitt, a freshman in third period gym, explained, “I’ve tried everything, and I just can’t seem to get out of this darn unit! I hear they watch you from a small window under the water.” While that is no doubt true, it is just about time for everybody to give up the fight and get in the water with the rest of the grade, who is most likely more sick than you are. Lucky for me, I got the Swine Flu shot last week.
I also want to say that I am really sorry if the water ruins your hair. Bring some conditioner next time, and perhaps some hair gel. I hear that Bed Head stuff works wonders.

November 21, 2009

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