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Straight A Student Given “Reduced Time” on ACT, SAT

By Leonardo Valencia

DEERFIELD, IL—Junior student Jon Plowneet, a straight A Deerfield High School student, will be taking his standardized tests in “reduced time” this upcoming school year.

Plowneet, who has been an honor roll student, “as long as he can remember,” is ecstatic, yet humble about his upcoming task.

“This is more for the people than it is for me,” replied an anxious Plowneet. “I’m really trying to give back.” Then he decided to stop talking about his political campaign and stay focused. “The way I see it,” Plowneet told The Flipside, “if people who need a little longer get extended time, then people who don’t need as much time should just take reduced time. Isn’t it only fair that way?”

We then tried to persuade Plowneet with arguments of rationality about why he probably should use all the time they give him, but he was stubborn as a wall.

School psychologist Joanne Berion has said about Plowneet, “This is most likely an act of defiance, as we see in these teenage years. It also is probably a show of arrogance and could have been based off a dare from his friends.”

The Plowneet family is also happy about their son Jon’s boldness and audacity in this approaching testing season. “I think that Jon is very gifted,” said his mother Olga. “If he can take the test in seventy percent less time than the other kids, I’m not going to be the one to stop him.”

Friends regard Plowneet in quiet contempt. An anonymous friend close to the source has said, “Jon wants to take reading in five minutes, math in seven minutes, and writing in two minutes. Honestly that’s just stupid.”

The ACT company and College Board refused to comment on this issue saying that they do not deal with the tests on a case by case basis and that they still support the use of number two pencils only.

December 15, 2008

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