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Deerfield Residents Cannot Stand This Republican Media Circus

DEERFIELD, IL—The town of Deerfield is making a strong political statement. And it is really starting to hit home. Deerfield, once thought to be shockingly liberal, is revealing its more conservative bias and empathy.

“We cannot stand the way that the media is making a circus out of all the actions of our Republican senators,” stated resident Jude Beths emphatically. “We need to stop this media circus and start being kind to the elephants.”

No, Mrs. Beths is not referring to the literal circus and the literal elephant. She is not referring to the brutal treatment imposed on elephants and other animals working at the circus. No, this is a much more serious issue. Mrs. Beths echoes the voice of the Deerfield community when she says that we need to be nicer to Republicans in government and avoid this hoopla that the media puts on.

“Mr. Larry Craig, Republican Idaho Senator. Good guy,” says Deerfield-ite Greg Recking. “But the media just makes him look silly. They make our elephants into a circus.” (The town loves this elephant-circus metaphor for government, by the way.) “George Bush, great guy. Great president,” continues Recking. “Put this media circus just turns him into a fool!”

Residents of Deerfield, we need to skip this media circus! Be above this poor treatment of our governmental elephants.

But our more liberal youth have been resistant to this message. Signs are disappearing around Deerfield due to criminals, those Democrats who do not support our Republican ideals of government. They have been uprooting these signs from the ground to promote this media circus. It is these reporters, these rumor-starters, these liberal-minded jokers who must be stopped. If we want order restored to this government, we must be kind and stop this madness.

December 15, 2008

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