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Deerfield Residents Cannot Stand This Republican Media Circus

DEERFIELD, IL—The town of Deerfield is making a strong political statement. And it is really starting to hit home. Deerfield, once thought to be shockingly liberal, is revealing its more…

Report: Mother Teresa Only Did Charity Work For Her College Application

Bart “Little Man” Olykowski The once thought great humanitarian and charity worker, Mother Teresa, has been exposed. After a recent post-mortem study into her schooling, researchers found that her charity…

Local Girl Moves Away; Not So Local Any More

By Bartrand Collieweather RIVERWOODS, IL—Stacey Windsor always enjoyed being your average local girl. She has lived in Deerfield all her life, and currently is a sophomore at Deerfield High School.…

Turtle at Zoo Finds it Very Awkward

By Harley O’Shallism CHICAGO-At the renowned Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, the turtle exhibit has been having problems recently. There star female turtle named Kiototo (after her breeder) and nicknamed…

Opinion: I’ll Take A Buffalo Chicken Sandwich With a Side of You

Bart “Little Man” Olykowski I’ll tell you what boys of Deerfield, if you are looking for a great looking sandwich with an even better looking waitress, The Cubby Bear is…