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Administration Changes ‘Lunch’ To ‘Dining Education’

By Herman Dougal In their weekly Twitter address, the Deerfield High School administration announced Wednesday that it will be changing the name of lunch periods from ‘Lunch’ to ‘Dining Education.’…

Local Man Dies from Senior-Citizen-Itis

By Buford Stetson HIGHLAND PARK, IL – A lot of things changed for former Deerfield resident Mike White when he turned sixty-five in 2010. All of a sudden, he didn’t…

Cost Effective Auto-Pilot Announced As Next World Languages Department Chair

By George Minkowski DEERFIELD, IL – The 2009-2010 school year will be the last of a veteran French teacher here at Deerfield. As she leaves the classroom, she also leaves…

Rap Group “Borrows” DHS for the Day

By Gunther Hausman This past Friday, the rap group Endiskize came to DHS to film their music video for the song “We Don’t Back Down.” The largely obscure rap group…

Ask Mr. Motzko: Senioritis

Dear Mr. Motzko, OMG SO BORED! After spring break, anywhere sounds better than school. I think I have Senioritis. This debilitating condition is wreaking havoc on my life. And the…

Flipside Writer Wastes 20 Minutes Trying to Come Up With Good Taft Joke

Point- Counterpoint: Dog Fighting

Point- Counterpoint: Dog Fighting

Deerfield Authorities Cracking Down on Fun

By Jeremy Hoodaman Authorities in Deerfield are fed up with the smiles and laughter of teens in the community. The chief of police promised consequences for residents who attempt to…

Michael Moore Will Not Rest Until Every American Has Access to Health Care, All-You-Can-Eat Crab Legs

Uneven Tan Included in All-Inclusive Resort

Republicans Call Health Care Bill’s Font “Unconstitutional”

By George Minkowski When Obama’s historic health care reform bill (HR 3590) was signed into law on Tuesday, Republican leaders cried louder than ever to block the bill. Twelve state…