“Senioritis,” reports Dr. Hugh Jabutt, local laziness expert, “is traditionally encountered by seniors during their second semester. The primary symptoms include laziness, homework allergies, inability to remember due dates, and excessive sleeping. The only known cure is ‘graduation.’”
David Davidson, a totally real senior (I didn’t make him up instead of going out and conducting a real interview, I probably promise) offered some comments on how it’s been affecting him. “I gotta say, senioritis is just hitting me like a train. I remember I was gonna play this really cool prank. I was gonna walk up to some freshman and point to their shirt. And then I was gonna say ‘Hey, you got something on your shirt.’ The genius of the prank is that they would most likely have nothing on their shirt, but when they looked down, I would just move my finger up into their face. It was gonna be pretty okay. But, I mean, then I remembered Netflix, and how much I love napping and you know, now that I think about it, I could really use a nap.” At that point, David walked away. Attempts to ask him further questions were unsuccessful.
We also interviewed Anita Bath, another real senior. I assume she said something, but I didn’t write it down. It would appear that David’s story is not unique to him. In researching this story, we at the Flipside asked some DHS security guards to survey seniors, asking if they had any pranks in mind, and there was not a single affirmative answer! (Well, there was one, but it was from a freshman, so we’re just not gonna count it) Okay, guys, I’m just gonna be honest here. I don’t feel like writing anymore, so let’s just end the article now.
