With 75% of DHS now using Chromebooks, we know that you’re all bound to run into trouble sooner or later. To help you, we’ve prepared a helpful guide on technology help (now 20% more helpful!)

 

Problem:

I can’t open web pages.

Solution:

The internet has probably been stolen. Please wait patiently for its eventual return.

 

Problem:

My Chromebook won’t stop overheating.

Solution:

This is often caused by listening to too many mixtapes, but there have been other causes. Consider gently blowing on your screen, or submerging your Chromebook in water.

 

Problem:

I dunked my Chromebook underwater after listening to your dumb advice, and now it won’t turn on.

Solution: You should have read the terms and conditions.

 

Problem:

My eeeeeeeeeeeee button is sticking.

Solution:

That letter’s getting old anyways. Try an S, or, if you’re feeling daring, maybe even a 4.

 

Problem:

My battery doesn’t last as long as I would like.

Solution:

Now, I’m not suggesting you get your Chromebook struck by lightning, but I am saying that it gave The Flash superpowers, so . . .

 

Problem:

My Chrom4book’s work4d for a whil4 now, but 4v4rytime I try to play gam4s, my batt4ry drains fast4r and I can’t 4v4n tak4 not4s by 4ighth p4riod.

Solution:

1115 1996 560 378616 42 1253447832; 79542351 86 028573 905892.

 

Problem:

HOW DO I CONNECT AN EXTERNAL KEYBOARD?

Solution:

Oh no, we’re not giving you any advice until you turn off your caps lock.

 

Problem:

Actually, I don’t have a Chromebook. Where do I get one?

Solution:

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

 

Problem:

I’m stuck in hot pink.

Solution:

Just start handwriting all of your notes and essays. Believe me, I wish there was a solution.

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