By Quinn Price

And fine swiss cheese, no less! What a treat for the both of us! I’ll brush off the mold from right there… Oh, and look at all the scraggly hairs stuck in there! Let me just pull a couple of those out and… look at this, we’re just absolutely golden! This must have been from last week when I was eating that hunk of cheese in my apartment.

Well, this delightful little nugget of deliciousness looks far too scrumptious not to be shared. Would you care to join me in consuming this delectable and unexpected treat? …What? You won’t? Well, are you absolutely certain? Hmmm… Very well, but I shan’t be putting this cheese to waste. There’s starving children in Africa, after all. Down the hatch!

Mmm… salty and slightly sour, just the way I love it. Yum! That really hit the spot. Wait, what’s that you say? There’s something
else sticking out of my beard? Well then, let me just fish around… what’s this? Oh my, you’ll never believe this! By golly, it’s a peso! And I haven’t even been to Mexico since 2007. Ha!

+ posts
You May Also Like

Man Who Also Has Name Chuck Norris Getting Inflated Ego

By Timpani Timmy AKRON, OH—A local plumber’s assistant and devout “lifter” who…

School Having Trouble Figuring Out Next Inconvenience

By Elijah Brisk It feels like it’s been too long. Resurfacing Waukegan…

Students Outraged Over School-Approved Senior Shirt

In one of the biggest scandals since last year’s senior shirt, the…

Swimmer’s Life Harder than Yours

DEERFIELD, IL—Two-a-Day practices and difficult workouts do not make for an easy…