By Bob the Builder

It’s pretty much a guarantee that if you ask me, “Can we fix it?” I’ll respond, “Yes we can!” like an over-zealous idiot. However, when Deerfield High School came to me over the summer and asked that very ques­tion, I gave them a completely different answer. I asked, “Why?”

Everything seemed to be working fine around the school. Most of the lockers were okay, yet they wanted me to replace every one of them. Students loved to hang out at “The Blocks,” but Deerfield didn’t like how the students liked them so they had me replace them. In their place, I put in dozens of uncomfortable, deceivingly expensive, metal benches from Ikea. The only thing I’m proud about doing was mak­ing the CCRC and Library a more feng shui environment.

They had me knock down the wall between the lunch room and union be­cause they thought it would be funny. They made me use my hammer on the old cash registers in the cafeteria and ended up having to buy expensive touch screen ones that don’t work. I did not get a master’s degree in architecture and construction management from Wash U to do this.

I kept having to fix things that were not broken in the first place. I’ve no­ticed that this is the general trend at Deerfield High School. But once I thought there was nothing else to “fix,” they whipped out a whole list of things that needed “some adjustment.” Half of the things on the list were the duties of an administrator, but they were unable to get to their offices after they had me turn K-Hall into a moat.

I eliminated split lunch. In order to do this, I had to take out a lunch period and shorten lunch on some random days. It felt like a bad idea when I pitched it, but what do I know? I’m just a cartoon construction worker.

+ posts
You May Also Like

In Defense of WDT

WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of…

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…