By George Minkowski
DEERFIELD— In a last ditch attempt to catch up on homework, local teen, Andrew Benisch, committed himself to pulling an all-nighter last Sunday night. However, that fateful night proved to be far less productive than previously hoped as all-nighters on school nights invariably lead Facebook.
Some people are able to manage their time wisely and not waste their entire night on Facebook, but these people aren’t usually the ones who end up having to pull all-nighters. Andrew Benisch, 17, was forced to stay up all night “working” after weeks of procrastination and catching up on Lost. He decided that he would preemptively reward himself for a job well done at 11:20pm by checking his Facebook. He had no new notifications but one invitation to the group “98% of kids drink or smoke before 18. Join this group if you like bagels.” For some reason, this took 7 hours.
“I had a plan,” Andrew tells Flipside reporters. “I was gonna go on Facebook, hit the books, and then probably go to school. But the Facebook step took a lot of time. Do you have any idea how many people are online to talk to at 3:00am?!”
We did some research and it turns out nobody is. However, in Andrew’s defense… well there’s not really much of an excuse to be on Facebook for an entire night, or at least that is not an excuse that teachers like to hear.

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