night-is-ours You’ve worked out the perfect plan. A lake house, a limo, and no chaperone. You promised you wouldn’t do anything inappropriate. HA! You cannot believe your parents bought it. They are worse shoppers than a sixteen-year-old girl who stumbled upon her parent’s no limit credit card.

I look so fly in my tux. Too bad a couple pity cases were let in the group and be crampin’ on my style. Oh well. At least I can put it down as community service. And now that my braces are finally off, I’m flyin’ so high that not even Amelia Earhart can bring me down.

And my date looks frickin’ gorgeous. Too bad she doesn’t have a personality.

I’m a straight up baller, from the south side… of Deerfield. I live in the hood. We call it Clavinia.

I can’t believe my mom really thought it was homework in my bag. I told her we were working with glass bottles for art. HA! I’m pretty sure we only offer woodworking at DHS, though I’m planning on doing a little of that tonight if you know what I mean. If you don’t, replace the word wood with penis. Or erection.

+ posts
You May Also Like

What I am Thankful For: A Pessimist’s Perspective

I am thankful for everything. Just everything. Everything is wonderful. How can…

News in Brief: Referendum Fails, It’s Back to District 113’s Only Non-Broken Drawing Board

By Gunther Hausmann After the District 113 referendum was shot down by…

Fan Hurts Kellen Winslow’s Feelings; Winslow Out For Season

By Dudley Tenfold Former University of Miami Hurricane star tight end Kellen…

The Benefits of a Staycation, Even if It’s In Deerfield

DEERFIELD, IL—Senior Timmy Stevens sits in sixth period math class as teacher…