Turtle at Zoo Finds it Very Awkward

By Harley O’Shallism

CHICAGO-At the renowned Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago, the turtle exhibit has been having problems recently. There star female turtle named Kiototo (after her breeder) and nicknamed Toto for short has been acting very hesitant and reclusive.

“Toto has been one of our best animals in the past couple years,” says trainer Gary Kiototo. “She is always so vibrant and active. She used to love the fans that would flock to her exhibit to watch her urinate and eat,” said the excited Kiototo. “But she is different now.”

The zoo hired animal psychologist Tom Hooloo to study Toto. “Toto has been displaying many signs of awkwardness and clumsiness that we see in these adolescent turtle years. He is what you would call an ‘awkward turtle.’” Tom then proceeded to do the famous awkward turtle hand motion, where he put one hand on top of the other and rotated his thumbs.

Teenage girls, who used to be a fan of Toto, have recently been visiting other more attractive animals, like the ostrich and the tarantula. “I don’t know, Toto was totally awky for me,” replied one confused teen.

When asked for comment Toto said, “Yea, I just don’t really like it when I want to go to the bathroom or eat, and all these people want to do is stare at me. Now that’s awkward.”

December 15, 2008

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