10) Chocolates

9) Dead Flowers

8) Gift Card to Baby Gap (You Think She’s Pregnant)

7) TV Guide

6) Mitt Romney Bumper Sticker

5) Scale with Diet Book

4) Another Copy of The House on Mango Street

3) STD

2) Fortune Cookie Telling You, “It’s All Going to Be OK”

1) Invitations to your Significant Other’s Wedding–Oh yeah, they were cheating on you.

+ posts
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