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Desperate Couple Resorts to Candy Conversation

By Joey Roberts After several weeks of dating, an anonymous couple had broken off all contact–or so they had thought. Let us call them Barry and Sari for purposes of…

Locker Decoration Best Indicator of Friendship

By Bobby Prinkus DEERFIELD, IL—Almost a daily occurrence, some girl’s locker will be decorated with cute accessories and inside jokes. When asked why this phenomenon occurred, junior Bari Kanefsky responded,…

QUIZ: Are You in Love?

When you look into his and/or her eyes, the first thing that you see is: A) Three concentric circles of various radii. B) The colors of the rainbow. C) A…

Top Ten Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts

10) Chocolates 9) Dead Flowers 8) Gift Card to Baby Gap (You Think She’s Pregnant) 7) TV Guide 6) Mitt Romney Bumper Sticker 5) Scale with Diet Book 4) Another…

Valentine’s Day Massacre Shrugged Off as “Hallmark Massacre”

School Recounts, then Forgets Heroic Story of Saint Valentine

Math Geek Gives Other Geek His Cardiod