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President Bush Supports the Souljas in Iraq

By Harold Vernack

WASHINGTON D.C. — In an urgent speech last Friday, President Bush called on the American people to support our “Soulja Boys over in Iraq.”

In a magnificent speech most likely written by thirteen other professional speech-writers, Bush commended all of the work that the Souljas have done to maintain order in the chaos that is Iraq.

“It is more important now than ever that we stand behind our Soulja Boys and Girls,” stated Bush. “They have been working hard to Crank Dat over in Iraq, but this is no easy task. There have been casualties. But we will continue on. We need your support.”

He was then followed by a round of applause never heard before in a Presidential speech.

This may have been the President’s most articulate speech of his term. He told the American people that we must not abandon our Soujas now in this dire time of need.

In his beautiful way with words Bush warned us that “Haterz get mad” that we are intervening to promote democracy, but truly they just cannot understand the overall benefit we are bringing to their country.

In addition to Bush calling on the Souljas he also urged the country to support the Souljas working at home, specifically the Souljas that are working on rap music to enhance our youth.

Many critics of Bush were surprised by this remark but mentioned that Bush is now entering his “rap phase” and is known to have the entire collection of Tupac and Biggie in the Oval Office.

However, the majority of the country is pleased to rally behind this deserving cause: Our Souljas in Iraq need us to support them now more than ever.

December 15, 2008

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