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President Bush Supports the Souljas in Iraq

By Harold Vernack WASHINGTON D.C. — In an urgent speech last Friday, President Bush called on the American people to support our “Soulja Boys over in Iraq.” In a magnificent…

Forget a Moment of Silence, I Want a Moment of Truth!

BY GREGOR FLETCHKING What is all this silent bickering I hear? Enough of this. When I hear people complain about the moment of silence, this is what it sounds like,…

Extended Moment of Silence Turns into Day of Silence

DEERFIELD, IL–Local junior student at Deerfield High School, Edgar Thompson got so caught up in the spirit of silence that he just kept it going the whole day. “Yeah, I…

Local Kid Trades Monopoly Money for Article Space

DEERFIELD, IL–Senior student Gideon Sylvan paid M$500 (Monopoly Dollars) for this article space. He got ripped off, but he still won.…

Ask Mr. Motzko : Cell Phones

Ask Mr. Motzko Dear Mr. Motzko, All of my friends have the new iPhone, but I still have to communicate with Morse code and smoke signals because my parents are…

Edamame Gets Angry With Edadade

Scantron Machine Feels Used