By Jordan Stein

All right guys, let’s be honest right now. This whole post-prom thing, I don’t really know what to say about it. I’ll probably go, ya know? A lot of people are going. But this 5 A.M lockdown is the product of some goofball from who knows where.

I can’t believe I’m even writing this for you, this stuff just gets old to talk about. They have prizes, but I’m already going to Jay-Z so who needs those Dave tickets? Not Hollywood Stein.

Hollywood Stein’s got it in the bag. Post-prom will be coming up to me asking me to donate my time as a prize. That’s fine. Fine. Not that good, not that bad.

But if I go, who can stay up until five? I can do two or three, but after that I’m bustin’ out yo. And if that fails I’ll move to Plan B, which consists of laying in the courtyard until I wake up at noon the next day with a fully grown mustachio and an A+ attitude. If I do make it until five, that’s just a fluke. But as they say—“Any given Sunday”—which in this case means, Chipotle.

+ posts
You May Also Like

In Defense of WDT

WDT is under attack. They’ve been made villains by nearly all of…

Dunkin’ Donuts Changes Name to Be Politically Correct

by Anfernee Van Tarkus MASSACHUSETTS-Leading donut and coffee provider Dunkin’ Donuts has…

SparkNotes Releases SparkNoted SparkNotes

By Jeremy Hoodaman SparkNotes, the sworn enemy of English teachers everywhere, recently…

I Really Don’t Know Which Super Power I Want

by Austin Graypad Recently, I have been asked about super heroes, or…