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Lady Turns 110, Family Celebrates Year She Doesn’t Remotely Remember

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Margaret Chainsmoker turned an astounding “110 years young” as her great, great granddaughter cutely noted. Marge is still going strong and her sixty-year-old grandchildren have named her “M-dawg” so she can stay hip like she was back in the early 1900’s. This centennial birthday of when she turned double digits follows what was surely a memorable year. When asked about her favorite memory of year 109, Marge mumbled, “Are you one of my kids? Where is my bread pudding? I want my, ah, what was I talking about. Do you want something?”

M-dawg’s humor seems to get better with age. She has an added emphasis on repetition recently, often repeating the same lines multiple times. She is even more repetitive than that last line. The real fun, according to nine-year-old great, great grandson Billy is, “answering her questions differently every time she repeats them. I don’t think she really listens though.” What little whining brat Billy does not understand is old Margey is now ninety percent deaf and probably does not even hear what the stupid, annoying little kid is saying, at least in my unbiased opinion.

On the bright side, Margey’s oldness has its perks. She does not remember how both Chicago baseball teams sucked tremendously in the playoffs. She has no idea the economy is going down the drain. All she knows about the drain is that her dentures are stuck there. Or at least she did before she forgot.

December 30, 2008

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