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Apprentice Janitor at Zoo Remarkably Still Has Faith in Jesus

Dennis Colby, the man who won’t give up

By Diego Goldfarb

Salt Lake City, UTAH—Dennis Colby, 44, who was just hired as an apprentice janitor at Hogle Zoo has inspired many area residents with his persistent faith in “the man upstairs.”

“No matter what happens in my life,” explained Colby as he learned to sweep up monkey feces, “I know that the good lord is always looking out for me.”

Colby, who has experienced many hardships in his life, including losing his wife and child in a freak lightning accident during a massive storm, maintains his optimism and considers such accidents to be part of “the lord’s great plan.”

“The lord was bowling and he happened to get a strike,” said Colby as he lay on his ‘Covenant Cot’ after a long day of observing the higher paid janitors mop spilled diet Pepsi at the food court and hold tissues for sneezing panda bears.

Colby has inspired so many because he has made the most of such menial, demeaning labor. “Did Noah complain every time he had to clean up hippo vomit? Well I am Noah, and this is my ark.”

December 15, 2008

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